Significant Moments of My Life to this point at 31

We can start with the obvious- moments with my wife:
#1 The night that I started dating my wife-to-be. It is a very vivid memory to me. I'm sure it's the same stirring memory for everyone. I remember saying, "I'm going to to kiss you now." and that being the best statement of my life. It connected me with the person I would build my adult life with.

#2 The night I almost broke up with my wife-to-be. It was in college- so not even close to our wedding day. I remember that I was ready for it to be over. I started for the door when I looked back and saw her in obvious pain. Huge tears that drew my attention to her eyes. I remember seeing in her eyes that she loved me. It was something we had said, and I believed- but at that moment, it was very clear that our love was not for puppies. It was a love that after that night- I knew would be wonderful and worth the work of keeping.

#3 The night I proposed was a few days before our anniversary. I couldn't wait. I remember having the ring for a long time- I had to have it to show her parents first. There was a point where she asked, "What are you doing?" Thinking about that moment always makes me smile. It was fast and normal from there, but still great.

#4 Our Wedding Day was amazing. I don't really remember anything about being at the Altar. I remember almost falling flat on my face, slipping on her dress. I remember folding programs with my groomsmen and ushers right before the wedding. Most of all, I remember falling asleep in the trolley that took us around Kansas City before the reception. My wife always likes to tease me about how that happened- and I always play into the joke with the explanation, "I was saving my energy for the night festivities...." but I don't think that was quite it. Throughout my life, I have had problems falling asleep. I still do, but I remember in that moment after the ceremony just feeling so content. Content enough to just rest next to her. It's weird- but I wasn't bored or exhausted- I just felt very safe in that moment.

#5 The night we drove through a deer. I had just bought my amazing van. It was less than a month old when we were driving up to Des Moines for my sister's graduation. We were about 30 minutes from our arrival (just finishing watching 'Rounders' on our portable DVD player) when I looked up from the movie and noticed the deer in the distance. I tried to swerve- but the deer had a death wish. Luckily, it was not a buck (no antlers). We ended up decapitating it with Amber's side of the car. Amazingly, Amber was the calm one in the scenario- and helped me get a hold of my dad to come pick us up.

#6 This moment happens a lot, but there is no better end to the day than when I finally make it to bed and my sleeping wife rolls over to put her arms around me. It doesn't happen every night, but when it does, it is the best close of my day.

The Worst Feeling

Been engulfed in a lot of high school nostalgia this week...found a box of old photos and, in an instant, was taken back in time. It was a guilty pleasure that I indulged for two days, but now, I think I am done. I had to stop when I found a notebook that I had shared trading notes with a friend (Friend was a she because two dudes trading notes in high school is, dare I say in a derogatory manner, gay). The worst part was reading things written by my high school self and realizing (again) that I was no better than the students I have today with my daily drama. I was, in fact, an over-sensitive, self-involved douche. I really hope that I have changed since then...

Me and Religion at 31

This year, I have feel like I have been baptized in the fires of Atheism. I have spent more time with Non-believers this year than in all of my other years combined. It has made for some great conversation, but it was has led to a lot of introspection- and even more definition into where my faith lies.

I do believe in God. I'm not sure the science of it, but I just have my faith that there is something greater out there than me. There is something that was the cause of the beginning of this Universe and really of time itself that has a hand in things that occur in my life. I don't think that God plans my every choice. I don't think that God keeps a scorecard. I do believe that God created me, and that at the end, there is a place where my spirit will return. I believe that there are no coincidences in the people that we interact with- there is an inherent value to each of us and purpose to our existence to one another. It is up to us and our power of choice to find the value in our relationships.

I live my life trying to repay the debt that has existed since I was created out of God's love. Not in His image, but as an artistic statement. It is my job to help and appreciate every one of the statements made in our tapestry. It is our job to allow people to appreciate the art in ourselves that has been created.