My First Father's Day

In honor of my first father's day, a letter to my son who is, like me, waiting for the Korean government to give us the word to come get him.

Dear Miles,

We are not flesh and blood. However, we are both the beneficiaries of the best of coincidences. No, that's not even correct. You saved me, Miles. At this point of my life, I was questioning my trust in fate. You being placed into our family re-affirmed my beliefs. You kept my hope alive that there is something out there. You may not be solid enough proof for anyone else, but for me, you and your placement in my life- keeps my hope alive that there are unseen forces at work entrusting us with duties to appreciate and choices to make. You are a blessing for me, Miles. You complete a family years in the making- and for me, you are the answer to questions fired into the universe. I hope that I do my part to help you become a great man- just like my dad did for me. I want to lead you by example and service. I want to teach you with calm, cool, but high expectations. I will love you unconditionally.

I cannot wait for you to be here. I want as long to carry you around before you get legs and an itch to move and run. I apologize for the amount that I will spoil you at first. I promise not enough to forever turn you into a brat. You deserve me to be a better parent than that. I just want to make up for lost time.

You, son, are quickly taking over my whole day without being here. I want so very much to be the greatest father for you, because I will want you to be as lucky as I am with my life. I have had the ability to do exactly what I have wanted to do with my life. I have had the best relationships a man can ask for. I can't wait for you to meet our family- your Lolo, Lola, Grandpa, Grandma, Aunts, Uncles, Great Grandmother. The amount of people over here ready to love and care for you with all their hearts always overwhelms me to point of tears. Past our flesh and blood relatives, I can't wait for you to meet the other family that your mother and I have come to know over the years. The love that I share with those people should provide you with the perfect example of how although not flesh and blood- real family also exists in the amount of care and concerned shared in a lifetime.

Son, in the end, I will know that I have done well if you have a life passion that you follow to your heart's content. I wait with bated breath to get starting helping you grow. I cannot wait to celebrate your successes (large and small). I can't wait to help you correct your mistakes. I even can't wait to clean up any gross mess that you will make. You, son, are a life event for me. I love you.

The Makings of a Perfect Day

I have to pay homage to the day I had yesterday. Nothing entirely important happened, but so many little, great things happened all on the same day that it has made me grateful enough to write about it and immortalize it on this blog/journal for someone to look back on later. You may think that it was just a day for someone who is easily satisfied and impressed- to that I can only counter with the fact that I am guilty of being both of those and to that effect have thoroughly lived my life amazed at least once every day. I have a wondrous existence.

The day began brilliantly- I cuddled with my wife in bed after hitting the snooze button. That's the best way to start any day. Especially because after she left for work, I went back to sleep for another hour!

After the bonus hour of sleep, I awoke and began my day with music from the Muppet Movie. "Everything is great. Everything is grand. I've got the whole wide world in the palm of my hand." What a great mantra for the day! For the week! I think for the rest of my life. Smiling at saccharine music and bopping around the house, getting ready for my day. I enjoyed the happiness of the song and the paradox of a 32-year old man allowing the Muppets to color his morning routine with giddiness. My time alone ends with a text reading "you can come play minecraft" sent from one of my favorite people, who happens to be staying with us, sleeping in the basement mid-visit. I always love any time that I have with my Meghan.

Getting to spend time with one of your favorite people is great- but getting to spend time with one of your favorite people AND mozzarella sticks! Holy cow! On top of that- I was gifted FREE rectangle pizza from the ladies in the school lunch room. Small gifts make life grand. I don't think the lunch ladies realized how much impact they were having on my already great day. They had to have been a major catalyst. Rectangle school cafeteria pizza is one my life's favorite foods. I hadn't had a slice of it in almost a decade- but yesterday I enjoyed one- FOR FREE!

The afternoon continued with more small victories. A fifteen-minute successful shopping expedition for a gift for an important 3-year-old's birthday party, some free time for minecraft, and getting to take drive in my wonderful Quest to my favorite barbecue joint.

The night time was colored with even greater moments. A no-hitter 51 years in the making (Johan Santana vs. St. Louis Cardinals), a Celtics play-off win, a couple of wins playing darts, drinks with two of the greatest loves of my life, and some time marveling at the wonderful architecture and happenings (LGBT Block Party in the Power and Light) in downtown Kansas City. It was like a Christmas of memories made and wonderful laughter/joy. As I type this and re-live every moment yesterday, my eyes are wide with joy and my lips ache from the seismic smiling.

Late night was, like the rest of the day, sunshine and puppy dog perfect. Nothing adult, we had a friend staying with us after all- but laughter, dubstep, music (still debating whether dubstep counts....), and yet another memory made with Meg. I'm forgetting to mention a marvelous donut and an amazing set of rice crispy treats varied with added fruit loops and Apple Jack dust.

It was nothing monumental, but it was awesome. It was a day that I will be grateful for for a long time to come. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Musical Moments of my Life to this point at 32

Music has been an essential part of who I am- making music has found me every love of my life (outside of the New York Mets and Optimus Prime- I guess....).

Moments that stick out in my mind:

#1 Drumline show my senior year of high school- this experience was the experience that led me to my life's passion. I loved every second of creating that show. I was lucky enough to have a teacher that entrusted me to pick music, write drill, and lead rehearsals. After working with young musicians for almost a decade now, I know that I was an exceptional high school student- but I know that I was truly blessed by people that let me take charge and peers that followed my direction- and added their own flavors and expertise. Drumline was the first place where I felt the power of music to help you achieve more than you imagined and let me feel like I was part of a family creating the perfect moment. That drumline show was one of my first perfect moments.

#2 Playing a song I had written for my first love in the auditorium and watching her have an emotional moment to it. There is nothing more powerful than a beautiful woman weeping tears of joy to something that you have created.

#3 Watching the girl that would be my wife listening to what would be our first wedding dance in her dorm room. I don't think think she was a huge Ben Folds fan before that day- but I fell even more in love with her watching her live every part of "The Luckiest" on through her amazing eyes. It wasn't our wedding song yet- but I knew that it would be.

#4 "Midnight Special" was the only song my first band at Benton learned my first year. They moved it for the first time at Home-coming- and we came off to applause. The playing and marching were less than adequate- but what made it special was the pride my students took in our small victory. To have my seniors tell me- "That was the first time we have heard cheering!"- that was wonderful.

#5 "Novo Lenio" at the 2011 Spring Concert- this is the first time that I played under a student's baton. I was very proud of all members of that band- but to have Sam on the stand leading- that was special.

#6 Spring Sectional Day 2012- having the clinicians sit in with the band at the end of this day was an amazing sound to hear. Students and special people making music together for the first time is a moment I wish I could re-live over and over again.